embracing change and the way of the tao aka why i stopped blogging and other life lessons

beware of anything that ever calls itself a dream job. if jobs were dreams then they wouldn't be jobs. 

About a year and a half ago I apparently stopped blogging. It wasn't some big, momentous decision. It was more like a fizzle and a constant string of self-deluding promises that I was about to get back to it. Until one day I just stopped caring.

That's when things really started to happen.

I started a blog to have a space where I could share my own unique take on lifestyle, fashion, and art.

It turned into a job, quite literally, where I was sneakily advertising things in a forum that was meant for honest sharing. I know a lot of bloggers do that and I'm not criticizing it across the board. It's just not for me. A lifestyle blog should champion a specific way of life -- your way. Winning that competition forced me to live a life that wasn't something I would have chosen for myself. And that's where the disconnect happened.

Have you ever had to lead a lifestyle that you didn't agree with? You constantly feel like an impostor.

I'm not about overconsumption. I'm not about owning lots of stuff just cause you want stuff all the time, like you're trying to fill some void inside which can't be filled with stuff but you think maybe if you get more stuff it'll somehow give you substance. This blog is not about low spending or high spending. It's not about luxury or brand names. It's not about never repeating the same outfit or having a different pair of sunglasses for every outfit. It was never meant to be about any of that.

Winning a competition that championed the lifestyle of excess and supposed luxury was powerful enough to distract me from the things I really wanted to be doing. It brought me a bunch of fake friends who liked me for my sparkly new plastic lifestyle and it made prior fake friends expose themselves because my seemingly "good fortune" at the time wasn't something they could handle. And by judging me harshly in order to make themselves feel better for not getting that "good fortune" instead of me, they ended up acting like asses. It also brought out a few crazies... yikes.

I guess in the end it all balanced out. And happily, I no longer have any of those people in my life.

There were some fun times, don't get me wrong. I guess that's part of the reason it was so distracting. The entire time I thought that I was doing something I ought to. A necessary stepping stone on the path of progress. And sure, I was doing it in my own personal way with my own personal flare. But in reality, I was losing sight of my own ideals and desires. For some people, fashion parties might be the end all be all of everything awesome. To me, they are tedious and I have trouble conversing with most of the people there. At the majority of events I went to, I ended up chatting with the photographers, bartenders, website programmers and artists rather than my fellow bloggers or the occasional celebrities who popped up. But that's not what I was supposed to be doing. I was supposed to be chasing the celebrities. But to me that was so uninteresting. Why would anyone want to be doing that?

During the entire time I had this job I was artistically stunted. I didn't make a single thing when all my life I've taken extreme pleasure in letting my creativity surge.

But thanks to that extremity with which the pendulum swung in one direction, it swung back just as hard in a direction that has brought me to where I am today. And for that, I am eternally grateful. Maybe it's a journey I simply had to take so I could share the experience and remind people that living simply and according to your own ideals feels way better than chasing fame or the little flecks of fame that you can gather from being around other, more famous people. Because everyone is clamoring about trying desperately to gather up all the little flecks of fame they can find. And it's pretty sad when you think about it.

Recalibration is a blissful thing when you let it happen and stop fighting it. If you're feeling muddled or confused at all, I highly recommend slowing down for a minute and finding where you lost your way. The constant, frenzied onward push can be a very successful distraction that can keep you from personal growth.

Stop and ask yourself the hard questions in life -- who are YOU and what do YOU want?

Once I did that, I realized why blogging made me so unhappy when at first it brought me so much joy. Free blogger swag, overconsumption and excess, sneaky advertising, giving a crap about what celebrities wear -- all this stuff makes me feel like I'm just helping stuff landfills with poorly made garbage so that some CEO of some shitty corporation can take home a few extra million. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going full throttle in the other direction. I'm not saying that we should all stop showering, grow out our leg hair and live solely off the earth all hippy dippy either.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that). But me -- I'm still a consumer. I still enjoy plumbing, shaving and curating my life into something that makes me happy.

But that's just it. Curation means tailoring down. Not owning as much as possible. This is not a critique of people who choose that lifestyle (well maybe a little it is), but mostly it's just about doing things differently.

So if you're about travel and exploration, self-reflection, owning things that you cherish vs. owning so much you don't even know what you have, leading life according to your own ideas and not society's... then Welcome!

Let's play.

advent coat

Full disclosure: I hate shopping. I know, I know... fashion blogger that doesn't like shopping, how weird. But it's pretty much the worst outside of important things that are actually the worst. This ritual of going store to store in hopes of finding something that doesn't suck on endless racks of things that are awful in quality, design and fit is terribly unappealing. However -- vintage shopping is the one time I'm sort of ok with this ritual. Maybe it's because vintage shopping feels more like a quest through past treasures that yields some extraordinary finds. So when I saw this coat in my local Bushwick vintage store, Urban Jungle, I knew immediately it had to be mine. It's got this Kate Hudson in Almost Famous thing going on (her coat was the only good part of that movie) and it was a grand total of $30. Yes, vintage shopping does nicely. oh and the pendant necklaces were hand-made by me.  。◕‿◕。

vintage coat . zara leatherette pants . kurisuti pendant necklaces . tom ford sunglasses

lovin' blogs with bloglovin'

This is just a guesstimate but I'm pretty sure there are, approximately, 3.5 gajillion blogs in the world. I didn't do an official study, but I'd say that's accurate. I have no idea how I'd stay up to speed with any of them without Bloglovin'

For Blog READERS...

Bloglovin's network is incredible. Since so many blogs now have Bloglovin', you can follow all your favorites plus find new ones that appeal to your interests and aesthetic that you wouldn't have had the chance to discover otherwise.

Signing up is as easy as this:

and following blogs is an easy click of a follow button:

after that, all the blogs you follow get consolidated in a handy list where you can click through and find the posts that are most interesting and relevant to you. Here's an example of my Bloglovin' list of followed blogs:

you can keep track of all your favorite posts by clicking on the little heart at the bottom of the post:

every post you "like" will be consolidated under the "liked posts" tab so you can go back to them for future reference:

If you happen to be a BLOGGER in addition to a Blog READER, Bloglovin' is a must for you! Bloglovin' drives massive amounts of traffic to blogs each and every day because it keeps your followers updated when you post. Most blogs get more traffic from Bloglovin' alone than from Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest COMBINED. 

In addition, it's a great platform for readers to discover your blog and interact with your posts. Since Bloglovin' users are there specifically for the purpose of reading blogs, the quality of the traffic you receive is much higher than that which comes from other referrals. Traffic from Bloglovin' has a tendency to stay longer and interact with more pages on your blog than traffic that comes from any other site. If you're a blogger not yet on Bloglovin', my question is "what are you waiting for?!" Signing up and connecting your blog is incredibly easy! Do it now!!

I simply had to share my love for this fantastic site and I hope you've found this information helpful! If you have any questions, I'm happy to answer them. Ask below in the comments and be sure to leave an email address or twitter handle where I can respond to you.

- Kristy

weapons and silverware

Exciting things are afoot not the least of which is Vogue Gone Rogue coming off its mini hiatus and my first collection soon to be available for purchase right here! The collection is titled "Weapons and Silverware." Each piece of jewelry has been hand-sculpted and hand-finished by me personally and cast in white brass with your choice of finish. The entire line is in the vein of that whole cute/violent/weird/sexy/relaxed style aesthetic I enjoy
As a fun little teaser, I've released the first two pieces of the collection (pictured above) for purchase on Etsy For questions, feel free to email me at VogueGoneRogue@gmail.com. And to stay abreast of news, you can connect with me via Facebook or Pose.